(Ahlul Bayt News Agency) - Mrs. "Julia Khadijeh Lafeni", from the England, is one of the figures who participated in 5th General Assembly of Ahlul Bayt (a.s) World Assembly. She was teacher, and because the England is full of people from many countries, she used to teach people from many countries. When she retired, she wanted to have a big more relaxation, so now, she is not in any organization and just participate in a program called the "Academy of Self Knowledge" which is run by a Sheikh from South Africa. This is an interview with Mrs. Julia Khadijeh Lafeni.
ABNA: were you originally Muslim or converted to Islam?
- I converted to Islam about 20 years ago, 1992, so 19 years to be exact.
ABNA: would you please tell us more about the "Academy of Self Knowledge"?
- This project for the Sheikh he is originally from Karbala and he is involved in helping western people to understand Islam. This project is whole about psychological teachings of Islam.
ABNA: What's the role of the Muslim women in England society?
- As you might be aware there are many deferent Muslim communities in England. So if you ask me about the role of Muslim women, it depends very much on which Muslim community their belong to, but what I notice is that Muslim women are getting much more empower, especially the young ones, because they would not accept their previous excessive domination by the men. I'm not blaming the men, really because it's the way that they grow up. Sometimes they are very spoiled and expect the women to be slaves. They need to be educated by their mothers, and understand the correct role as man and women. For example women do have such as responsibilities, but they are not slaves to the men. In fact I think men have more responsibilities. As I notice, now in England young Muslim women are very deferent from their mothers; a lot of them are going out to work, and they have high positions in society. But unfortunately we see in some Islamic countries sometimes they deceive girls into marriage. For example they say we are going to go for a holiday, take them there, lock her in a room and say here is your husband, tomorrow you get married. This is the thing that we have campaign against, because it gives to the Muslim community very bad reputation, and when Muslim say to the Majority population, Islam is wonderful, Islam is very good to women, people don't believe it, because they heard these stories. In this case we must look at Prophet Mohammad, does anybody think the Prophet said to the Khadija, do this, do that, do that?
ABNA: What's your idea about marriage?
- I think the first due to human being is to seek Allah, if marriage should help you to do that so do that. For example if both partners really love Allah that is the aim on getting marriage, but if you marry somebody and they don't agree with that aim, what can you do? It's better to be alone. Marriage is not compulsory, it is recommended, because most people are happier in marriage, but a lot of women who have a bad experience of marriage won't get married again. Honestly it is difficult for a woman to find a good husband and also it's difficult for a man to find a good wife.
ABNA: How we can protect Islamic responsibility and Islamic Idea about women?
- Unfortunately the people put their lives into the boxes and they say this is my family life, this is my work life and this, the Qoran. And Qoran should cover our life and what the Qoran teaches us is justity, and lets you find a right partner and you can control yourself as long as you have useful work to do and remember Allah both of the two things, remember Allah should put first and then useful work can do. If you can't control your desire you have to look for. I think women are better controlling desires but it doesn't mean they don't have desires, they do. I mean when you are on your own new feel very lonely.
You must understand, whatever Allah gives you is for a reason. So you have to think Allah is given you this state for a reason, why am I in this condition?, Maybe it's given you the states so that I can seek him. Then when you get married you made find yourself with another state. You know the people who think the grass is greener on the other side, like, if I'm married everything will be solve, if I'm a single everything will be solve, that's not true. You have to Jihad whatever you do. Because Allah has promised, whose claims to be a believer, I will be testing it. So whatever your situation in life, that is from Allah, and you have to look to Allah, why this happening?, why am I in this situation?, my nafs (ego) doesn't like it, but it's good for myself. So if you look at it in that philosophical sense, then suddenly everything will become much better.
ABNA: I think it's very hard to look at it in that way, because our children grow up with the educational system which it doesn't care about the moral, hereafter and god. They want new generation to test anything.
- Well, I think that is a stage and sometimes you have to go through that stage in order to come back again. People always want freedom because their souls are free. In this case, mothers, have an important role; They can teach their children which is good or bad, but after they grow up and become 18, you can just advise them to choose their better way in life, so you cannot always say to them, do this or don't do that.
End item/ 149